Top 10 Funny Graduation Quotes

There is a reason I don't write much with comedy in mind. I have a strange sense of humour. Not in a "wow, he's creepy" way, but in a "um, I don't get it, and that may be vaguely insulting" way. It specifically does not translate well into emails or online.

One of the reasons I probably come across as shy or reserved when I first meet them is because I don't want to make a stupid joke that will insult them. It will inevitably happen though, if you spend enough time with me. I don't mean to be mean. I just laugh at what I think is funny - and it is usually the stuff nobody else would bother to think is funny. Like bad grammar.

Anyways - here is a Call for Content that I completed for Associated Content. After publishing it and reading it again, I may have missed the mark. See for yourself.

Top Ten Funny Graduation Quotes.

Tomasz Adamek ready to tear through cruiserweight division

BoxingHerald.com launched last week, and today my first contribution was posted.

Tomasz Adamek ready to tear through cruiserweight division

Seven rounds into the April 19 fight pitting Poland's Tomasz Adamek versus Jamaican-bred O'Neil Bell, the latter's corner threw in the towel giving Adamek the TKO victory. Adamek, the current IBO cruiserweight champion, took advantage with an early knockdown and skillful counterpunching.

Read my full article at BoxingHerald.com.

BoxingHerald.com is now live!

BoxingHerald.com is now up and running with a few stories and a Podcast. Check it out at www.boxingherald.com.

Now Playing - The Metal Masters Tour 2008

I would fancy myself as a reasonable person. Relatively well-adjusted. I have a family, a good job and have never killed a woodland creature just to watch it die. Also, I love heavy metal. I think for the most part, it gets an unfair wrap in the public conscious. The same people that line up at the movie theatre for a horror film, or schedule their life around grisly television shows are the same who complain against the ill effects of music. Specifically heavy metal music.

Don't get me wrong, there are a few idiots with guitars out there right now with questionable intentions. Hopefully your parents helped you to be able to spot those idiots. If not, you might be one of those idiots. I personally avoid a lot of music, mostly because it is bad but also because I'm simply not interested in the message or the tone. Heavy metal, at its best, is loud, uplifting and powerful. Any fool with Pro Tools can can complain about his step-dad over tuneless guitar chords. It takes a special kind of fool to write a great - even timeless - song.

Three of my favorite metal bands are hitting the road together this summer in a tour package that is fairly similar to one a few years ago. I was desperate to see the Iron Maiden/Dio/Motorhead tour a few summers back, but I didn't have the chance. This summer another mighty monster of a tour is rearing its ugly head with Judas Priest, Heaven & Hell and Motorhead. Add the Iron Maiden tour and this summer should blow the American Idol out of your brains.

Check out this article from antiMusic about the tour - complete with dates and such. All three bands have products releasing this summer but reports say they will be sticking to the tried and true hits of yesteryear.

"You've got another thing coming"

from the album Screaming for Vengeance

Judas Priest spent nearly a decade slogging away in the English metal scene. Faster than you can say New Wave of British Heavy Metal, the band landed some big hits with a string of classic metal albums. The two-pronged guitar attack of K.K. Downing and Glen Tipton, the searing vocals of Rob Halford and the band's leather biker image influenced just about everyone who formed a metal band in the 1980s.

In the mid '80s the government apparently didn't have much going on, so the establishment attacked music makers with several high-profile court cases - see PMRC. In 1990, Judas Priest was accused of putting subliminal messages in their music that prompted two men to take their own lives. The case was eventually dismissed. Halford commented that if the band wanted to add subliminal messages to their music it would say "Buy more of our records." Even though the case was dismissed, this is the kind of thing that seems to linger around heavy metal bands.

In terms of song topics, Judas Priest covered much of the same ground as other bands of the time - live fast, play loud and rise to the top of the rock and roll heap. Despite being one of the bands more commercial songs - commercial isn't necessarily bad, mind you - "You've got another thing coming" is a perfect example of the the band's rock ethos.

One life I'm gonna live it up

I'm takin' flight I said I'll never get enough

Stand tall I'm young and kinda proud

I'm on top as long as the music's loud

With its insistent riff and Halford's unmistakable growl, "You've got another thing coming" is another perfect '80s youth anthem.

"Neon Knights"

from the album Heaven & Hell

Before Heaven & Hell was Heaven & Hell, they were Black Sabbath version 2.0. Tony Iommi canned Ozzy Osbourne after a few lackluster albums and proceeded to regain his metal crown with the help of a giant voice that emanated from a tiny man. Tony Iommi pretty much invented the heavy metal riff on the first few Sabbath records. One of his less-celebrated, but in no way less exciting, is his awesome riff for the song "Neon Knights."

Black Sabbath with Ronnie James Dio was leaner, meaner and meant business. Even if Dio's lyrics for "Neon Knights" were odd, his delivery is exhilarating.

Bloodied angels fast descending

Moving on a never-bending light

Phantom figures free forever

Out of shadows, shining ever-bright

Dio-era Sabbath cranked out a duo of classic records before they imploded over the production of Live Evil. A reunion 10 years later didn't go very far, but the most recent incarnation under the name Heaven & Hell seems to be moving along well. Although a new record might be more exciting than a 5-disc remaster of their previous work, whatever keeps them on a stage near you can't be all bad.

"Ace of Spades"

from the album Ace of Spades

I admit that I am cheating by choosing "Ace of Spades" since it is easily the best known Motorhead song. I don't care. This is a prototype of heavy metal. The lyrics court danger, the music feels like you are about to fly off the rails at any moment. Isn't that the exact feeling you want if you crank up a metal record.

If you like to gamble, I tell you I'm your man

you win some, lose some, it's all the same to me

The pleasure is to play, it makes no difference what you say

I don't share your greed, the only card I need

is the Ace of Spades

Lemmy - recently named the "greatest living Englishman" - is the epitome of ugly cool. His music is ugly too. Motorhead is Chuck Berry with the volume turned up until the knob snaps off. Quite a bit of heavy metal traces its roots back to classical music, but Motorhead is just straight forward, four to the floor ROCK AND ROLL. James Blunt can go cry himself to sleep.

10 years of antiMUSIC - Collective Soul

To wrap up the April celebration of antiMUSIC's 10th anniversary, the site is rerunning a few of the highlight reviews of live shows. My review of Collective Soul's 06/01/05 show in Tempe, AZ is first in line.

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This night's show is billed as a celebration of 100 years of Las Vegas, a chance to have the glimmer of Vegas in your own town. The tour, sponsored by the Vegas chamber of commerce, Camel cigarettes and some smelly wine, brings to you Collective Soul with Silvertide.
This proposed idea of Vegas in your town includes a few neon signs, Elvis strolling through the crowd and a quick showgirl routine. Thankfully the cheese factor is kept to a minimum and Silvertide provides a quick pounding set of songs that Buckcherry recorded five years ago. Silvertide is pretty much a fun, mindless band perfect for the Vegas décor and easy to swallow for the "Over 21" but mostly over 31 crowd.

Read the full review at antiMUSIC.

Now Playing - Aerosmith

"Rag Doll"

from the album Permanent Vacation.

Aerosmith was my first "favorite" rock band and "Rag Doll" was our introduction. Between my grandpa's country music and MC Hammer on the radio, Aerosmith broke through the gloom and the cheese to be something that was mine, all mine. Something about the drum beat and the sleazy slide guitars resonated with my preteen being. It sure wasn't the lyrics as I had no idea what the heck Steven Tyler was singing about.

I'm feelin' like a bad boy

Mmm, just like a bad boy

I'm rippin' up a Rag Doll

Like throwing away an old toy

Some babe's talkin' real loud

Talkin' all about the new crowd

Try and sell me on an old dream

A new version of the old scene

Speak easy on the grape vine

Keep shufflin' the shoe shine

Old tin lizzy, do it till you're dizzy

Give it all ya got until you're put out of your misery

I actually still have no idea what he is singing about or what a slow gin fizzy might be. Most of the time I have no idea what Steven Tyler is singing, or talking about, but he has one of the greatest rock and roll voices ever. He can wail, croon, whisper and flat out belt it, sometimes all in the same song.

In an effort to understand exactly what constitutes my absolute favorite kind of music, when a song comes on that I particularly like, I try to note what I like about it. Is it the guitar sound, lyrics, bass line...you get the point. maybe at some point I will be able to piece together a song from the various parts I love the most. Rest assured that song will have plenty of bass drum and electric slide guitar played by Joe Perry and Brad Whitford.

Permanent Vacation was Aeromith's proper comeback in the late 1980s. "Rag Doll" played second fiddle to the record's two huge hits "Dude (Looks Like a Lady)" and - one of the worst rock ballads unleashed on an unsuspecting public - "Angel." Yet, it was the song that, looking back on the Aerosmith catalog, was the best representation of the band's strengths. Aerosmith excels at simple blues rock with a little R&B vibe. Something they avoided throughout most of the 90s and 00s, until the criminally undervalued Honkin' on Bobo. It's been 4 years and I am still bitter about the lack of success for Bobo, I am even more bitter about that waste of plastic Just Push Play. You don't turn your back on your oldest friends, even if they make the bad decision to self-produce their record.

Back to normal

My apologies for the lack of posts in the last two weeks. I had a sick family last week and was out of town over the weekend. It had been almost a year since I had last been back home to northern Arizona. I wish it had been under different circumstances. My wife's grandfather passed away and we attended the funeral.

I did not have the chance to ever meet him, but I must say his funeral was an incredible experience. As a veteran of WWII he was thrust into a life I couldn't begin to imagine. The local legion was present at the grave side. To see elderly gentlemen suit up and pay tribute to a soldier is a special experience.

I was not able to take many photos over the weekend, certainly not as many as I would have liked. Here are a few. I hope to make it up there soon and take some time to really photograph the area.

These two are in Window Rock, NM.

My wife was able to take photos during the funeral, but I will leave that up to her if she wants to share them. Here are a few I grabbed afterwords. It had been a long day.